The Down Low and My Many Thoughts

Wow, it's been such a while since I have posted on this blog. So much has happened and is going on and of course.... I have a few thoughts to share.

First off, dang! This has been the hardest pregnancy out of the last three. I don't know what it is (well, actually, I think it's a boy!) but this pregnancy has just about kicked my butt. Thanks heaves I have the perspective that even though it's hard, it's only for a short time and it's well worth it, or we would be stopping with this baby and not trying for 5 like we would like.

I'm at that point of life again, where everything seems to be swirling around me and I'm just trying to keep up. I'm beginning to think that perhaps that never really ends? Especially when you are a mom? My kids are getting older, they have so much going on in their life's, I'm working as hard as I can to be there for them. And then trying to keep up with Janzen and his schedule and fit in the rest of my responsibilities and find time to fulfill some of my own personal needs. It takes work people!! It's fun, crazy, hectic and there isn't anything I wouldn't rather be doing. But it's amazing sometimes how much it can take out of you.

I am so super excited to watch Allana grow, she is going to be graduating Kindergarten in just a few short weeks! I feel like over this last year I have watched her grow from a toddler into a kid! A smart kid, who catches everything you say and holds you to what you say and needs explanations about the darnedest things!!

Sarina is not my little baby any more... she asks "why" about everything.. seems to notice everything and is turning more and more into a little independent, daredevil girl!

Honestly though... my children crack me up 24/7, they bring new light and prospective into my life and just make it a whole lot darn more fun. For that.. I will be forever grateful to them!

I feel like if I blink, I will have children that are off and married and Janzen and I will be in our 60'S. Sound a little paranoid?? Probably is.. but at the moment it's how I feel. =)

Besides all of our summer adventures we have planned, I am super excited to start taking flight lessons again! It honestly scares the crap out of me (there is so much to do and quite a bit of pressure) but it will feel nice having something that I am working on that is for me and in the long run will provide a nice chunk of extra money ( and that's always a good thing! =)).

My biggest thing right now is trying not to get caught up in everything and I do mean EVERYTHING.. staying cool.. and trying as hard as I can to life life one moment at a time. I think that is one of the saddest things that can happen to people..... we wait so long to get to this Earth and then *POOF* everyday things crowd up our lives.. we focus on the wrong things and then another *POOF* and were looking back and thinking about everything we should have done.

What I use to center myself really is the Gospel, if I center my life and family around that... my life is a hundred times easier. Then I have to add in a few hobbies and interests that keep my brain stimulated besides the run of the mill every day things. Not a bad idea, right? I think if you can try and be as well rounded as possible, it's not only healthy for you... but sets an amazing example for your children.

So in short.... my latest and greatest quest as been to stop and smell the roses.... huge my kids just a little bit longer, take the time to sincerely tell Janzen I love him and try as hard as I can to listen to what the Lord is trying to tell me among all the other noise the word is throwing at me.

I think that's how we find peace, confidence and our true inner self's. It's all there waiting for us, everything were looking and longing for... we just have to take the time to find it. =)

The Creator Within Us

Time flys. For real and you know what? I dont think I like it!

Do you remember being a kid and it seemed like all of the adults around you were telling you not to hurry, to slow down, have patience? Tomorrow, or Christmas or your Birthday would be here soon enough, right?

I don't know about you, but I heard that ALL the freaking time!! It seemed like days stretched on and on...... and months and years seemed like an eternity. Well, it's not the case anymore. In fact, the same stress I felt as a kid because time seemed to be going too slow, I feel now as an adult because time is going too fast!

I have been married for over eight years and seriously, it feels like maybe only two or three years ago did Janzen and I tie the knot. Allana is five years old! Are you kidding? She should still be a baby, it really hasn't been over five years has it? And Sarina... it feels like just yesterday I was pregnant with her!!!

And to be honest.... I really can't believe how old I am, it really does feel just like yesterday I was sixteen dreaming and wondering what the next few years would hold. Rock star career, fancy new car, trip to Milan, Paris, and Egypt...maybe work part time for NASA and the FBI...anyway.. back to the subject.

So I wonder, where does all this time go? Am I the only one who has experienced the phenomenon?

I think what really gets me is all the things I meant to do.. that I didn't do... and realize I meant to do them YEARS ago. Really, years just tick on by now, one day it's spring and the next, bam! It's Christmas (that would have been rock awesome when I was a kid, but not now!)! I seriously don't want to be eighty with a super long bucket list to complete.. because heaven knows I'd attempt to complete it and end up in the grave faster!!

The other thing that gets me is, kids REALLY do grow fast! I remember thinking at the beginning of a pregnancy that nine months seemed so long to have to wait to hold my little one and then five years later I'm wishing she was still a baby. Not because I don't love her the way she is, but because everything happened so fast, I'm wondering if I missed something?? A laugh, a smile.. did I really enjoy those first years as much as I should have?

Perhaps that is the fear associated with the feeling that time is moving too fast. You are afraid your missing something, not taking it all in.
I like my life the way it is right now and I like my children they way they are right now.... But I know.... someday, someday too soon... my life and my children will change. I look forward to it.. with hesitance.. maybe because I am selfish in this area? I like my life and family the way it is and am afraid to have teenagers?!?!?! Ha!

Well.. this is just something I have been noticing lately and thinking about. Do you all ever feel this way too? You ever feel like you woke up one morning and WAM-BAM, next thing you knew you were ten years older, have a man sleeping beside you and kids spilling cold cereal all over the kitchen??

My Love Language

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	8
Quality Time:	7
Receiving Gifts:	7
Words of Affirmation:	4
Acts of Service:	4

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Check out the Book

Family Blog

Some of you are saying you can't find the Family blog.
You can link to it through my profile information or this link:
http://vandykeslife.blogspot.com/

Check both blogs for updates, craziness, thoughts, photos of the kiddos, wonder woman greetings, photos of Charlie (our new dog!) and all that jazz. This blog is going to become my personal blog, so for family info hit the other one!
Ciao!

Things are moving too fast. I can't keep up.
Everyday is like another leaf falling from an autumn tree.
One here, two there, all of the sudden three.
The winds keeps blowing, moving things along.
I'm not ready though, I can't seem to keep up and I don't know whats wrong.
Is it so much to ask for a moment, to stop, sit, think and rest?
Why must I feel the weakest when it's time for my will to be put to the test?

Falling, twirling, dancing in the wind. All the other leafs know the their rhythm and place.
But, I can't quite seem to catch up, to keep my pace.
When will I return to the dance? For, this season I can not wast.
One here, two there, all of the sudden three....
Everything is moving on around me......

***For all the moms that can't always keep up with the 24/7 craziness of life!
It's okay, grab a hot chocolate, sit by the fire and drink life in my friends. ***

I wish I may, I wish I might..

I wish I could read my husbands mind (seriously, that would be amazing!).

I wish I could show people how I really feel and not worry about what they might think.

I wish I liked protein shakes as much as I like chocolate.

I wish someone who loves me could hear all my silent fears and tell me it's going to be okay.

I wish I was stronger, in every way possible!

I really do wish I had superpowers.

I wish the world was a safer, happier, more beautiful place (Eden to be exact) for my children to grow up in.

I wish I had more answers to everything then I do now.

I wish I could fly.

I wish Santa Clause was real and I could be an elf for one Christmas.

I wish I believed in miracles just a little bit more.

I wish I could rap, and paint and change the world.

I wish I could say everything I try to say and ALWAYS have it come out right.

I wish I didn't giggle at naughty jokes.

I wish I could "just know" when my friends need love and hugs and just "appear".

I wish women could talk to the babies in their bellies.

I wish I could ALWAYS remember who I really am and who I am trying to be and who I am trying to be with in the end.

Just a scant few of my "wishes" what are some of yours?